Kate Dries's posts - Norwegian uPOST

The Football Player Flips A Log On The Bachelorette, And The Football Knower Gets Eliminated The Football Player Flips A Log On The Bachelorette, And The Football Knower Gets Eliminated

Team, there are roster cuts every week, but this round was tough. Our numbers have been depleted during an away game in Park City, Utah. (Lucky for them, the state’s previously stringent liquor laws have abated in recent years; if they hadn’t, it’s hard to imagine our players would have performed at their best.) NFL…

Romantic Bachelorette Football Game Ends In An Injury To An Actual NFL Player Romantic Bachelorette Football Game Ends In An Injury To An Actual NFL Player

Team, Monday night’s episode of The Bachelorette was a rough one. Not only did we lose two soldiers to injury, but our game was in danger of being pushed back because of a pesky little thing called the “NBA Finals,” and was still interrupted by a fascist dictator meeting with a wannabe fascist dictator. It was a…

The Athletes Hit A Slump This Week On The Bachelorette, But Lil Jon Showed Up The Athletes Hit A Slump This Week On The Bachelorette, But Lil Jon Showed Up

Okay, team. This week was a rambunctious one, full of so many twists and turns that none of us could really follow the playbook. As the season goes on, the chaff will be cut and the roster will really start to gel. But in the meantime, as your stern but loving coach, I’m here to make clear what really went down on…

"I'm Having A Ball Right Now!": How The Sports Men Did On The Premiere Of The Bachelorette "I'm Having A Ball Right Now!": How The Sports Men Did On The Premiere Of The Bachelorette

Well, here I am, team. Despite what I told myself about not being able to put my body through another season, what with the countless pep talks and endless late nights and the cold Gatorade showers, I’m back. Team, I don’t know how, I don’t know why (well, to be very frank, I do know why: that $$$ contract), but I’ve…

How I live with a tiny fridge How I live with a tiny fridge

The apartment was small, as studios are—about 250 feet, or so I was told. It was trapezoidal, making it difficult for me to imagine how my furniture could be shoved into its non-90-degree-angled corners. It was on a major thoroughfare, so I stood in the room with the windows wide open for several minutes, awkwardly…

Trading Spaces Returns As a Kinder, Gentler (Still Fun) Version of Its Former Self Trading Spaces Returns As a Kinder, Gentler (Still Fun) Version of Its Former Self

If you didn’t know it had been 10 years since Trading Spaces last aired on TLC, Paige Davis—the show’s second and most well-known host, who was fired, only to be hired back a few seasons later, before the show was cancelled entirely—will let you know immediately upon watching its first episode back.

'You Can Have Ice in Your Wine': Prepping for Rosé Season With Martha Stewart 'You Can Have Ice in Your Wine': Prepping for Rosé Season With Martha Stewart

Meeting Martha Stewart is exactly what you think meeting Martha Stewart will be like. She talks just like she talks on television, she looks just like she looks on television, she wears pieces from her QVC line just like she does on television (which does very well when she goes on during inclement weather and…

'There's Something They Want to Hide': A Conversation With Bachelor Nation Author Amy Kaufman 'There's Something They Want to Hide': A Conversation With Bachelor Nation Author Amy Kaufman

In May 2014, I wrote a piece about Amy Kaufman, an entertainment reporter for the Los Angeles Times who’d been uninvited by ABC from press calls and events for The Bachelor because the network disliked the tone of her coverage about the show. The choice to cut Kaufman off was an odd one. As a longtime fan of the…

I Fulfilled a Lifelong Dream and Butchered a Pig

I blame my interest in raw meat on my mother. Under the guise of protecting us, she wouldn’t let me or my sister touch raw chicken while we helped her cook, lest we contract a salmonella infection. Like any child, what I wasn’t allowed to do I wanted to do more, and I found myself overly fixated on the flabby tan…

Bars That Aren't Sports Bars Shouldn't Have TVs Bars That Aren't Sports Bars Shouldn't Have TVs

I remember the moment well, save for all of the details. It was a bar with food, or maybe a restaurant with drinks. It was for sure on the North Side of Chicago. There was beautiful reclaimed wood everywhere, with tables to match. Big windows looking onto the street covered all of one wall. I was there with one, two,…

Checking in With Judge Kara Brown, Writer on Grown-ish Checking in With Judge Kara Brown, Writer on Grown-ish

I called Kara Brown the day after the premiere of Grown-ish, the show on which she recently completed a season as a staff writer. “So prompt,” she complimented me. “I’m a professional,” I responded. Ever the professional herself, she then asked me if it was okay that she was making breakfast while we spoke. “It’s not…

Work in Progress Work in Progress

In the spring of 2010, I was finishing my last year of college. I had turned in my thesis paper, and thus had two empty months to fill before graduation. I wasn’t taking classes because I’d fulfilled all my credits and not doing so saved a cool several thousand dollars, and because—despite the fact that I’d spent the…

I Am (Yet Again) Not in This Year's Erotic Carp Calendar, Nor Am I in Their Calendar Devoted to Women BBQing Nude I Am (Yet Again) Not in This Year's Erotic Carp Calendar, Nor Am I in Their Calendar Devoted to Women BBQing Nude

As you may or may not know (I hope you do know, given the severity of the situation at this point), for the past few years, I have expressed the desire to be asked to be a featured model in the (according to the calendar’s blurb on Amazon, and my heart) “cult fishing calendar” the Carponizer Erotic Carp Fishing…

Gifts for Your Mom's New Husband Gifts for Your Mom's New Husband

There’s something beautiful about living in America these days, and that’s the blended family. Who doesn’t love getting a whole new set of relatives that they possibly have even less in common with than their original ones! JUST KIDDING, MOM; with death, divorce, and remarriage, come some great new dynamics (once the…

Wow, Now I'm Shipping Martha Stewart and Tom 'It's About Tom' D'Agostino? Wow, Now I'm Shipping Martha Stewart and Tom 'It's About Tom' D'Agostino?

A few years ago, Martha Stewart had a period of very publicly talking about her singleness, which culminated in her going on the Today Show to meet some men she’d been matched with on Match.com (it’s morning TV; just roll with it). That seemed mostly in good fun, but the message was clear: Martha wants to find someone…

How Mortician Caitlin Doughty Traveled the World on the Wings of Death How Mortician Caitlin Doughty Traveled the World on the Wings of Death

For most Americans, the options of what you can have done to your body after you die likely seem limited. Cremation, embalming your body and then burying it—there are variations on those themes, but the basics remain. But mortician Caitlin Doughty has spent her life trying to change how we consider death and educate…

Meghan McCain's First Day on The View: A Record-Breaking Number of Hugs Meghan McCain's First Day on The View: A Record-Breaking Number of Hugs

Doesn’t it feel like Meghan McCain has always been on The View? To me, it feels like Meghan McCain has always been on The View. She was never not on The View, so how could today have been her first day as new co-host of The View? Not possible. Maybe she was lurking inside of the body of Jedediah whatsherface for the…

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